Thursday, November 27, 2008

when can I believe?

I'm having a difficult time actually feeling like connecting with the other women on the message boards of the "Yay You're Pregnant!" - type website I signed up on a soon as I found out (I refer to it as the "babymama website"). It's not that they're not support of each other or anything, but I'm seeing way more negative posts than positive ones, and at the end of only my 5th week of pregnancy, I think the last thing I need to be reading about is everybody's horrible symptoms or miscarriages.

Take a moment if you want to slap me for that last statement, I understand.

I really do have complete sympathy for anyone going through the horrible experience of having a miscarriage, or any other early complication. Still, for those of us who've chosen to share the news despite the superstition that you shouldn't say anything until you've reached the 2nd trimester, it's somewhat disheartening - and makes me just a little frightened - when all I'm reading about is all the things that could go wrong.

Call me selfish, but I want some good stories. I need to feel confident that it's okay to be this excited, this early. I need to believe that it's okay to believe that this is real, and that I can finally stop waiting for something bad to happen.

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