Tuesday, December 21, 2010

The Obligatory Christmas Post

My fat, happy lump of a baby, posing for Christmas (or, just laying there because she can't escape).
She spent more time in arms and on laps than anything else, and passed out on my shoulder that evening before I could get her to her crib.

My fat, happy, hyperactive toddler needs a good deal of coaxing and distraction to get her into any pose. She no longer falls asleep on my shoulder or lap, and I'm sure she'll stay up as late as we'll let her this year.

About 10 seconds before screaming to let me allow her to run around the tree...

My hubby is pretty ambivalent about the season but I think having a toddler who reacts to the sights and sounds of the holiday makes it so much more special than it's been any other year. Sure, I got emo/sentimental about her first Christmas but it's this year that seems even more significant.

Now, we didn't do the Santa thing (she's already met one dude with an outa-control beard and I'm pretty certain she wouldn't sit on his lap). Call me selfish, but I just didn't want to deal with the screaming, germy, kids-cracked-out-on-sugar and moms-cracked-out-on-Starbucks insanity that is the scene at most American malls this time of year.

But we have had our share of walks to check out the neighbors' decorations, she's dismanteled helped with the tree a great deal, and as much as I pretend to bemoan the request every time she makes it, I love how she'll go, "Monkey? Monkey? Monkey. Monkey. MONKEY!" until I finally cave in and sing "The Christmas Monkey Song."

I just did a search for a video with no luck. All I can tell you is it took me 5 viewings to learn it and now I have to sing it until my voice caves. It's like 3 verses and 3 choruses and she knows how long the song should be so if I cut it short because we're in public, she calls me out. I'll spare your ears and not post a video of me singing it.

But I'm sure it'll be on repeat on Christmas Day.

What's your favorite Christmas song? Someone told me something yesterday about there being one about a rhinoceros. Let the You Tubing commence...

Happy Holidays!

Tuesday, December 14, 2010

Me vs. Christmas

Same battles, different year.
I say, "I'm gonna send cards!" Doesn't happen.
A year later, I say, "Now that I have a cute baby, I'm DEFINITELY going to send cards!" Doesn't happen.
This year, I say, "I'm going to FINALLY, REALLY send cards so people know I and my child do exist and are, in fact, still members of the family." Nope.

I say, "I'm going to plan and budget and get everyone a nice gift." I don't plan, don't budget, and people try to act happy about their cookies and socks.
A year later, immediate family agrees, "No one will buy anything over $40 for anyone else." Then, I get so much crap I'm in a funk of guilt and shame until June.
This year, we vow to only bestow unto others functional, thoughtful gifts, so I'll make and freeze my best meat sauce for relatives and they will, in turn, spend way too much money on me again and I'll be forced to feel like I'm living on hand-outs.

Why do the holidays do this to us? Year after year, we get up our hopes and expectations for the "ideal" Christmas to come to pass and every year, it doesn't! I'm not one for getting all worked up about the holidays but one, just one year I'd like to feel like a real Mom/Wifey/Benevolent Neighbor & Relative and get shit baked, wrapped, and in the mail on time.

Not this year, I guess. I think I'll just get a bunch of oven-ready heure d'oeuvres from Trader Joe's, give people specialty bars of chocolate in make-shift gift baskets, then duck out for a run during nap & the 18th run of "A Christmas Story," and call it a day. As far as cards go.. hopefully the family I'm "friends" with on Facebook will pass the word that we are well and wish all of our other blood relatives a wondrous holiday.

Christmas, I am no match for you and all of your... Christmasyness.