Monday, February 22, 2010

Rules of the Road.

In order to not sound like a completely misanthropic bitch, I wish to preface the following blog by giving a kudos to you average Joe's and Jane's who choose outdoor activity over sitting inside playing video games or watching "Jersey Shore". Even more kudos to you if you have children and you drag them out with you.

With that said...

I can't stand how the first really nice day of the year draws out all the people who have been in hibernation since the first time the mercury dipped below 59 degrees. They don't know how to share the trails and bike paths, they don't call out to their hyperactive 4-year-olds to keep them from darting in front of runners and bikers, and they still dress like a winter storm is on the horizon (quilted down coats and Ugg boots on a 65-degree day? Really?).

Can we all just agree to follow a few basic rules so that us all-weather, all-terrain badasses can peacefully coexist with you fair-weather pseudo-recreationists? Because the only thing I love more than composing lists is to be able to run without having to dart into oncoming traffic because you don't know how to share the sidwalk.

1. Trail traffic should mimic road traffic. Keep right, pass left. If you are moving slowly, you should keep to the far right edge of the trail. Please do not wander in a drunken zig-zag pattern all over the path as you hollar into your blue-tooth because EVERYONE IN THE PARK NEEDS TO KNOW YOU'RE SO IMPORTANT THAT YOU HAVE TO TAKE PHONE CALLS EVEN WHILE WALKING.

2. I know I've mentioned this in a previous blog somewhere, but please, please keep your children and elders within arms' reach. Your children are little, don't look before running across the path, and are very easy to trip over. Your elderly are hard of hearing and startle easily when someone tries to pass on the left, often stopping short as they spin around in bewilderment, unsure which way to go and in the process blocking the path entirely.

3. If you are traveling in a group, it is not only helpful but extremely courteous to walk in pairs on the right-hand side of the sidewalk or trail, not 6 abreast. It is also nice if you're not all tapping away at your Iphones and Crackberries, updating your Facebook statuses. I mean, learn how to fucking converse, people.

4. Glen Beck is a jerk with a bad case of verbal diarrhea. This has nothing to do with parks or recreation but when I told my husband I was blogging he insisted I include something that shares our distaste for him.

5. Don't try to hand out religious pamphlets to a runner. It just doesn't work (or they're already saved or what have you). Yes, this has happened to me - not in our local park but on a run just the same.

6. Please provide enough room for the lady with the jogger or stroller as you pass each other on the path or sidewalk. I mean really, a quick glance up is all it takes to realize Oh, she's gonna have to go off the curb with her baby if I don't move over a little. Besides which, next person whose lazy ass doesn't move over is gonna get clipped in the achilles by a Babytrend tire.

7. Dogs. Leash training. Learn it. But, if you just carry your dog around anyway, please stay home. You're really annoying to look at.

That's all I have for now. If you have any more peeves to share, please do. Don't leave me hanging - I know I can't be the only person who has these thoughts... although, perhaps the jerkiest.

Wednesday, February 17, 2010

Maintenance mode. It's a good, but very boring place to be, running wise. With no long races to train for, let alone much time to accomplish long runs while the baby is in my care, I've fallen into the running zone that is more than just working out but not quite like being in training. Like, if I had to push out a 7-minute mile right now I could. But... I just don't wanna.

And I started the pill this month. Sorry mom, but there will be no grandbaby #2 any time soon. I'm not sure if it's causing me to feel this ickiness that I've felt or if I just have it in my head that the pill is the culprit because I wasn't so fun to be around when I was on it 10 years ago (stop doing the math - I know, I was young. But at least I can say my First was also my Last). Regardless, I've just been tired, and kinda nauseous, and really not a fan of going out of my house. It's been so much easier, and nicer, to curl up in bed with the baby, playing and giggling and napping. This is how I felt (minus the wanting to lay in bed with a baby part) the first few days of every pill pack last time I was on it, so I figured this laziness can be attributed to that, but I worry that my lack of any kind of training routine can also be to blame.

I mean, if I had a run scheduled, I'd do it. No matter what. And I'd be lying if I said it didn't cause some issues in my marriage, because of course it would lead to those fun conversations: "You're too tired for me but not tired enough to run?"(him) and "You say you want to run a race with me but you never want to run when I do."(me). And now that I have the jogger, a weather shield and bunting so I can't be accused of child abuse for taking my child out on chilly days, I really should have no excuses. I mean, I have a friend that's been doing her long runs as scheduled all throughout the winter. In Omaha. What's my excuse?

I guess it's this pseudo-single motherhood thing. Being on my own most of the week makes it more difficult to get out there, and I hate calling on the grandparents to babysit when I want to run more than 7 miles, without the jogger.

Well the husband has officially signed with the company he's been working for as an independant contractor and located some decent apartment complexes with discounted rates for employees of that company. If all works out in the next few weeks, I won't be going it alone as much anymore, and maybe then I'll finally get myself out of maintenance mode and be able to start some real training.