Sometimes you want something so badly you can convince yourself it's real, even when it's not. I certainly hope this is not one of those times. All I can say for right now is that I've been more tired and foggy-headed than usual, I've had this weird hunger-on-the-border-of-nausea sensation for most of the day the past few days, and after peeing on a stick I saw a second - albeit faint - line showing through the window.
It's funny the things you do differently when your body is changing (or you so desperately want it to be). Through previous months I ran hard and trained as usual, mostly because I had a marathon goal time to work towards. So even though my husband and I haven't used birth control in over a year, nothing happened. I suppose it was my body's way of telling me it was going to do what I wanted it to do, but not if it had to take care of something growing inside of it, too.
But 4 weeks post-marathon, a few lbs back on my frame, and my time spent running reduced by nearly 2/3rds (I've been spending a lot of time doing low-impact), maybe my body decided it was ready for a new task. I hope so.
Because truth be told, I'm kind of tired of seeing girls practically get pregnant every time their boyfriends sneeze, while other couples try for years and years and years with no results. If I AM playing host to a little being in my belly, I know that I'm lucky in that we haven't been "trying" that hard, but I also know I'm ready because a year - or two, or three - is a long time to wait when you've already made the decision to bring a child into the world.