One of those talks where he complains about everything she's not doing to keep things *ahem* interesting the relationship, and she reacts with a concise list of all the things she does throughout the day and how when she comes home from work at 12:30 AM and sees that all the laundry she did still hasn't been put away, it's hard for her to focus on doing anything "interesting" for him.
Something that he said to me, however, that was a point I hadn't considered before and clearly needed to, was that he felt like he was playing second fiddle to everything else I do. He says I'll set my alarm to get up for a run, plan all these things that I want or need to do when the daughter takes a nap, but I seem to struggle to find time for him.
And he's right... this is something I have to work out.
I did say in my defense, though, that on paper I work 32 hours, but in reality the time I spend in the restaurant does top out near 40, so if we're both working full-time then something's gotta give around the house. I understand that men are pretty content with the state of their abode so long as they have clean underwear, but what about when I run out of underwear?
So something's gotta give on both sides. He has to understand that I just can't relax when there's a consistent to-do list that seems to never, ever get done. I have to understand that if I'm going schedule time to keep up with my training, then I also need to set aside time elsewhere to keep up with my husband.
Kind of makes me miss the days when we'd duck out of the local coffee house early to go park his car somewhere, then we'd sneak back to our respective houses where his mom did his laundry and my parents lived in such a mess it didn't matter if I even tried to keep my room clean. The only thing I put off to hang out with my boyfriend was sleep. And sleep is SO not cool when you're in high school.
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| before wedding, came prom |
2 comments:
Raising children in this separate society is truly difficult. I recall watching an episode of Sesame Street in which an “impoverished” community was depicted. The mothers worked together to make a meal and tend to the children as they all ran around playing together. I remember looking out the window to a quiet street where no children played. No parents shared tasks.
My simple suggestion is to find something you enjoy doing each night and invite your husband to join you… reading something fun to each other or cooking something simple is always nice. Share dessert time or tea and cookies. Something simple you enjoy so it doesn’t turn into a chore…
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